Changes

 

  Hi Everyone! I am DONE with my first semester of school! Woo-hoo! 6 credits done, 54 to go! That's a lot. Most MA programs in other majors are 30 credits. And then there's counseling. Go to school for twice as long and make half as much as someone in another field. But hey, what can I say? It's what I believe God has called me to do, and I really am looking forward to being able to make a difference in people's lives. But I'm still very glad to have a month off. The past 16 weeks have been a lot of work, mostly interesting stuff, but still a LOT of reading, writing, taking quizzes and tests, and learning how to make videos of myself discussing study topics (Not my fave experience having to watch and listen to myself.) In my mind, I feel much younger looking and definitely thinner. The class I just finished was Ethical and Legal Issues in Counseling, and unless I utterly failed the last assignment (Like under 25 points out of 100), which hasn't yet been graded, I will get an A. I don't know how important GPA will be in finding jobs, but since I don't have any prior experience, I figure good grades might be a help. Next semester I'm taking 4 classes instead of 2, so lots more work. The first quarter I'm taking Human Growth and Development and Multicultural Counseling. They both sound interesting to me, and the Multicultural Counseling is just a Pass/Fail, so that should take off some pressure. In case you haven't noticed, I really try to go for the A in letter graded classes.
  Ok I've pretty much stalled out on the weight loss thing. I think until after the holidays, my goal will be simply to not gain weight. Then I will start working on losing 1 to 2 lbs a week after the first of the year.
 I'm so excited because my son, Cory, the Marine, who I haven't seen in 7 months, is coming home on Saturday! He's staying for a couple of weeks. The last time he was home for that long was before he left for boot camp 14 months ago.

Cory is on the right. Love those dress blues!

  My husband is also off of work until January 7! Yay! That will be a change having him home all day for almost 3 weeks. He had to use up his excess vacation time or lose it. And of course, we have all the fun of Christmas to enjoy. We also will be adding in rehearsal evenings because my youngest son, James, had his first ever audition for our community theater musical, and he got a part. They had to cut about half the kids because there were almost 60 kids for 30 to 35 parts. So, I was telling James not to feel bad if he didn't get in this time. But, he has a minor part, playing one of the Wickersham brothers in Seussical Jr. It looks like a very fun role, but it will be a lot of work for him, especially learning the dancing since he's had no dance lessons ever.

 So, I've decided to work on adding beauty in my life by making myself look more attractive. I'm going to get my hair cut a bit shorter. I LOVE long, beautiful, flowing hair and have been trying to grow mine out for a few years now, but it won't get past this awkward just below the shoulders length. The ends, especially in the back, where it's longest, are just kind of thin and scraggly looking. Long hair isn't pretty if it's dry, frizzy, and skimpy. So, I'm going to ask my hair stylist to cut it into a shorter (but not too short) bob. I think that will help it look fuller. My girls HATE bobs. They think the style I like looks like a suburban soccer mom who goes into businesses with an attitude and says, "I want to see your manager!" Where do they get this? Anyway, here's a pic of what I'm thinking, though I do want to keep my bangs. Cuz after 40 they say, "It's bangs or Botox," and bangs are waaaayyyy cheaper and less painful than needles in your face.

 https://goo.gl/images/h5DSBw is the link.  I like the style in the big pic. Although this style is straight, and my hair on its own is definitely not, I can blowdry and use a straightening iron when I want to copy that exact look, but the cut will still work for days I want to either just keep my natural wavy texture or add more curl. And it's not so short that my head will freeze during our arctic Minnesota winters. Though today was blissfully warm for December! 39 degrees!

 So, anyone else have any changes coming up? What's something you do or would like to do to bring out your beauty? Yes, I know inner beauty is more important, but I think most of us still like to look as nice as we can. And it's nice to get out of our same old, same old ruts every once in a while. Fresh and new just can be so much fun! I don't know whether or not I will post again before the holidays, so in case not, Merry Christmas! and Happy New Year! I hope your holidays are filled with love, joy, and beauty!

Creating Beauty

   
Hi Everyone! I'm back. And it hasn't even been 3 months. ;-) I had a nice birthday. My husband and kids blessed me with some great gifts and a trip to the infamous Mall of America. Jim took me out to lunch at a new for us restaurant, where we had THE best guacamole, made tableside, that I've ever had in my entire life. And that's saying something now that I'm so old! I also got two other lunches out of the birthday deal the following week from friends. Speaking of friends, my dear friend, Tracy, got me a stove! Seriously, how awesome is that??!!! OK I know that's not the typical birthday present, but you probably are unaware of my stove challenges. LOL I don't seem to be limited to normal challenges. I have definitely had some unusual ones throughout my life. So, I had this really great stove (TWO ovens even) that I got a great deal on a little over a year ago. But it had a flat cook top where the burners are covered by whatever material it is that goes on top. Fiberglass? Anyway, I had some heavy pans on top of my fridge, which is literally right next to my stove cuz of how the outlets are set up in this crazy old house of mine, and they fell onto the stovetop and broke through the covering, which ended up destroying 3 of my burners, so I've been cooking with only one burner for about a year, which gets really annoying when you make most of your meals at home. And which would have been a real pain in the patoot for Thanksgiving. But, Tracy and her husband came to my rescue. Yay! Also, another really cool thing about my birthday was that my son, Cory, remembered (Hey he's a 22 year old guy!) and although he couldn't really call because he was on a training exercise (Marines) in Norway, he posted a nice birthday greeting on my facebook page.

I'm now on week 6 out of 8 in my ethics and law class. Still have an A so far.

OK so as far as the 55 by 55 is going.... I started out well the first week. I lost 2.4 lbs. But the second week, I gained back 1.4 of those lbs. In my defense, there were two birthday lunches, a church potluck, and Thanksgiving. So, that puts my grand total of lbs lost at a whopping 1 lb. Not exactly an impressive start, but I'm trying to do better with food choices this week. 54 lbs to go over the next 50 weeks.

So, I was thinking about what it is that I'd really like to learn how to do. While there are probably dozens of things I'd like to do, it's not lack of knowledge that's usually the issue but rather lack of resources, which is usually money. But one thing that I think is also, at least partly, due to lack of skill is creating beauty in my life. What do I mean by that? I'd like to surround myself with more beauty and less chaos in my environment, in particular my home. I'd like to be able to make pretty things, look as attractive as possible, wear beautiful clothing and accessories, etc. Things like cleaning, organizing, decorating, crafts, gardening, yardwork, repairs, makeup, skincare, beauty routines, creativity would all fall under this category, so would things that are non visual. I'd like to experience beautiful sounds, smells, taste, and touch by learning how to incorporate these things into my life and the atmosphere of my environment to a much greater degree than I do now. But, as with pretty much everything, I do better with a plan, and at the moment, I'm not sure how to put one together. It's something I will need to pray about, ponder, and maybe research. I guess I could start with some pics of beauty that speak to me. So in no particular order here are a few.

  https://goo.gl/images/VgK14x       https://goo.gl/images/RBjAN4       https://goo.gl/images/uyyqdn

https://goo.gl/images/ahSrAv       https://goo.gl/images/EbPc5j     https://goo.gl/images/5HBuQ8

 https://goo.gl/images/pX5B5m   https://goo.gl/images/sW1FCm  https://goo.gl/images/igbRDN

https://goo.gl/images/8noLWt      https://goo.gl/images/Ka2eHN  https://goo.gl/images/4t2tta

So, what do you find beautiful? How do you create or bring beauty, physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, or in any other way into your life? I would love to hear your thoughts. Until next time, beautiful blessings, my friends!

Another Year Older

 Hi Peoples! Remember me? I'm dedicating this post (Can you dedicate posts? Is that a thing? If not, I'm starting it.) to my sister-in-law Debbie cuz she sent me a birthday card the other day and said she hadn't seen any posts from me in a while. So, Deb, here's my shout out to you! Ok I have never gone this long between posts. I think maybe I've set some kind of record here. My last one was over 3 months ago. Definitely has been a while. But in my defense, life has been way busier since September rolled around. School started for me and my kids. So, I also started back to homeschooling, doing Community Bible Study, teaching the kids' class at Community Bible Study, and participating in homeschool co-op.

 My schooling is definitely a HUGE time eater! It's not that the work is outrageously difficult (at least not yet), it's just that there's a lot of reading along with the written assignments. The classes move quickly because they only last 8 weeks instead of the usual 16 in a semester. Thankfully, I'm liking the courses so far, though I feel like a ton of info is being thrown at me. I had no idea so much goes into being a counselor. I'm definitely feeling the intensity of the responsibility, and if I'm not careful, I sometimes start to get nervous that I might end up making some huge mistake and mess up somebody's life. I don't know. Maybe that's a normal fear for anyone starting their schooling in healthcare or human services. When I was an undergrad, I never experienced that. But my degree was in English. Not exactly going to cause anyone significant mental or physical damage by a poorly written piece or sloppy editing. Anyway, I finished my first class, Orientation to Professional Counseling Function and Identity. (That's a mouthful). And I got an A. Woo hoo! Guess all the academic ability didn't completely leak out over the 32 years I've been out of school. Now I'm working on my second class, Ethical and Legal Issues in Counseling. There are some tedious parts, but over all, it's a lot more interesting than I thought it would be. I'm just about at the end of week 3 and so far am getting an A in this one too. I will need to take a heavier load starting in the spring since there are 20 classes in all, and I'd like to graduate before I die!

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 54! Yikes! Seriously, that's kind of a little.... well, um, old. I don't feel this old. Ok maybe somewhat in my body, but not in my mind. Shouldn't I be more mature and wise and know more things and be all organized and have my act all together by this age? I'm only one year away from being in my late 50s. That's like practically a senior citizen. Well, I guess you either get older or you die. So, from that perspective, maybe getting older isn't so bad after all. While I'm not afraid to die, I'm not in any hurry either.

So speaking of getting older, since I will be 55 in one year, I've decided to set a 55 by 55 goal. My weight has been a challenge for most of my life, particularly so over the last several years. Overall, I now eat mostly low carb, though I've fallen off the wagon for the past few days and most likely will tomorrow. Hey, it IS my birthday! Last time I weighed myself, I had dropped 16 pounds. Not exactly the most impressive result after 3 months or so of changing my eating habits, but better than nothing, especially since I haven't been super consistent. However, it's been a while since I've checked my weight, but from the way my clothes fit, I doubt that I've gained much, if any back, or that I've lost any more. But I still have approximately 100 give or take a few pounds to lose. So, I've decided to lose 55 by the time I'm 55. Granted that's only about half of the total goal, but given my snail's pace with the whole weight loss thing, I think it's a more realistic goal. And truth be told, even if that's all I lose, it will still be a substantial improvement in both looks and health. Plus, that will allow me the freedom to indulge sometimes in those evil processed carbs that taste so amazing but are sooooo bad for those of us with insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome. So, I will face the dreaded scale on Monday morning in order to know my starting weight and set my goal for 55 lbs below that. I need this for a kick start to get back on better track with food, especially now that winter has decided to settle in early. Something about the cold and more dark hours and the holidays that just makes me want to devour truckloads of baked goods. But I think having this goal might help me reduce that truckload down to maybe say a backpack.

So, what are you planning to do a certain number of before your next birthday? This was a new concept for me. Now, I challenge you to set a goal. It doesn't have to be pounds. It could be anything really. I'd love to have you share.

Until next time (which hopefully won't be three months, but I make no promises, especially once spring semester starts), blessings to all!

The Good, the Bad, and the Pain in the Neck

Hello out there in the blogosphere! I know who some of you are, but I wish I knew who all of you were. I guess it doesn't really matter, but my inquiring mind just wants to know. I usually imagine that my readers are middle aged, church going women with a sense of humor cuz hey, that's who I am. But once in a while someone who is not at all in that demographic will mention they read my posts. That always surprises me. So then, I start to over think things and wonder if they get bored since I don't write about guy stuff or young twenty something stuff or senior citizen topics. But then again, I figure some things are applicable across the entire span of age, gender, religion, and interests. Besides, if I get too girly girl, too churchy, too middle aged mom, or too silly for someone's taste, they can always stop reading. But I'm truly honored and thankful that anyone would take the time to read the ramblings and rabbit trails that wind through my mind.

I gave you the outline for this post in the title. So let's start with the good. I got accepted into grad school! Woo hoo! And I am able to borrow enough money to actually take classes. I'd rather not borrow, but I don't have that kind of money sitting around. School is EXPENSIVE! I'm only taking two classes my first semester because I haven't been to school for 32 years, and I also have responsibilities at home, church, Community Bible Study kids' class, as well as homeschooling my 12 year old. Since I'm not sure how rigorous the program is or how long it will take me to do each assignment, I thought it would be better to start out slowly. The online classes are done in 8 week segments, so although I will have two classes, they won't be in the same eight weeks. My first class will be Introduction to Marriage and Family Counseling. It starts in 20 days. I'm thinking it won't be too hard since it's an intro class. One of the classes I will have to take at some point is statistics. Yeah, not really looking forward to that. I decided it might not be the best idea to tackle that one my first semester. Anyway, so now I am officially a college student again at age 53. When all my classes are completed and I've passed the comprehensive exam, I will have my MA in Marriage and Family Therapy. Then you can tell me all your problems and give me money. ;-) Just Kidding. You aren't supposed to do counseling for friends or family.

Found out from the nice psychologist lady that I have ADHD. Suprise! Not. Anyway, I always said I have ADD, no H cuz I'm about as far from being physically hyper as you can get. But apparently, whether or not you have hyperactivity, it's now called ADHD. I did not know this. Did you? See, you learned something by reading here. There are three subtypes of ADHD. Type one is primarily inattentive (that's me). Type 2 is primarily hyperactive/impulsive (not me). Type 3 is combined (the whole enchilada). I will be starting on 10 mg a day of generic Adderall. We'll see how that goes and adjust as needed.

The bad is that a combo of bad days, extra appointments, financial stress, trying to figure out the details of two of my daughters' birthdays that happen within a week got me off track a bit. And then ... on Sunday I woke up with a stiff neck ( not usually a big deal cuz it happens every once in a while). I figured it would feel better by the end of the day since that's always been what happens. But nope. It kept hurting. It was really bad by the time I went to bed. I didn't sleep at all well that night, and went to the doctor first thing in the morning. He didn't feel the need to do any tests, just asked questions and examined me, then told me it was a muscle spasm and gave me Toradol and a muscle relaxant. I took two doses of those, and they didn't do Jack diddly squat! So I ended up going to urgent care that night, and that doctor very hesitatingly gave me Norco. OK I know you have to be careful with opioids, but sometimes narcotics are the only thing that will touch the pain. And it did help A LOT, but I only had 8 pills, so I was all out by the end of the third day. And now, even with Tylenol, Toradol, and muscle relaxants, I had very fitful bits of sleep interrupted by pain going from my neck down into my shoulder. I have a chiropractor appointment on Monday because I don't think there's much the regular doctor can do for me. I highly doubt they will give any more narcotics, and their other pain meds aren't doing much. I'm guessing the nerve is being compressed by something since the pain radiates down my arm, and I have a weakened grip in that hand. Makes putting on my bra seem like an Olympic event. Oh the joys of aging! Thinking maybe it could be a problem with a disk or arthritis. I'm hoping that by doing an adjustment on my vertebrae the chiropractor can give me some relief.

Anyway, the combo of pain, lack of sleep, and being a little loopy when I was taking Norco means all my routines and progress in my house basically went to you know where in a handbasket. So here I sit, back at square one. But the good news is I'm at the point where I'm ready to ease back into things. Yes, I'm still in pain. Yes, it takes me longer to get dressed or do anything that requires a good left hand grip, but I figure it's always better to do something than nothing. So I started working on the kitchen a little bit at a time a couple of days ago. It's still not done, but it's a lot better now than it was Thursday morning. Today I grocery shopped for the week, so I can get back to lower carb eating. Then I came home and made a to do list. Honestly, I really didn't feel like doing any of it. I'm uncomfortable and exhausted, but I know I feel better emotionally when I'm working toward something and making even tiny bits of progress. I realized that I hadn't been writing a to do list for a couple of weeks, and that if I want to get back on track and make better use of my time, that's where I need to start.

So today, I hope to encourage you by sharing my challenges and how I'm working through them. I have a feeling I'm not the only one out there who gets off track ever. So if you have too, don't beat yourself up.  Don't let the thoughts overwhelm you like I did. It's funny how listing those tasks on paper makes them seem more doable. And I need things to be changed from the swirling twirling overwhelming chaos that zips around in my head. The list takes that and turns it into concrete, specific actions that I can handle one at a time, so that progress can happen even when life ends up being a pain in the neck.

Movin' on Up

Hey there! I now have 2 followers! Woo hoo! I've doubled my numbers! Moving on up! Like George Jefferson. Remember the theme song? For those of you under 45 ish, look up the reference. Any who, I'm putting a challenge out there. Can I double again before my next post? Hey, it would only take 2 more of you. But do it now because I don't know when my next post will be. Could be several weeks or as soon as I finish this one. I don't have any set schedule. I'm the mysterious blogger. Muh ha ha!

So, I finished reading The Obesity Code, and wow, was it eye opening! I highly recommend it. I'm mostly eating lower carb, but not 100 percent. I still have my occasional coffee treat, usually a latte or cappuccino with a baked good when I'm at Caribou or Starbucks. I also have my homemade smoothies for breakfast several times a week, which aren't usually low carb, but my lunches and dinners that I make at home (which I do for most of my meals) are. And I mostly avoid sweets and grains as well as other starches. Even just doing the lower carb thing at less than 100 per cent, I've still lost 5 pounds! Ok, that's not an earth shattering amount in 2 weeks, but I had been stuck at my starting weight for several months. So I'm just glad to be moving in the right direction!

I have an appointment to go back to the psychologist for ADHD testing. The questionnaires that my husband and I had to fill out indicate a likelihood of ADHD. Not exactly, a shocker there.

Since I want to see improvement in all areas of my life, I've decided to go into the No Man's Land of finances. UGGGHHHH! This has always been a struggle for me. I grew up low income and have always had a hard time making ends meet. My husband has graciously taken on the financial management in our family because it totally stresses me out. Partly because there isn't always enough to completely take care of everything all at once, and I don't like having to work with numbers. All that dividing up, addition, subtraction, figuring out what's due when and what's coming in when, and making it all fit together. Did I ever mention that I HATE math?

Anyway, I'm starting with baby steps here cuz leaping into math is too perilous. I don't want to make my head explode. I LOVE to read, so I decided to start with a very basic book about managing money and increasing wealth. It's called The Richest Man in Babylon. It's a really old book, but I guess it's a classic. I finished the first chapter today and plan to read a chapter each day and put things into practice as I learn them. There's really no reason to continue to avoid this topic. I'm the one who has put these limitations on myself, and I can also remove them. It's time for me to release fear and negativity and start movin' on up.

I would love to hear any tips you have for managing and increasing money or any resources you would recommend on these topics. Also, would like to know what areas you are going to make the commitment to begin your journey of movin' on up!

Turns Out, I've Been Wrong!

First of all, I'm SO excited to actually have a follower! Woo hoo! Thank you to my friend in real life, Holly! You would get a prize if I had one to give. But hey, I did mention you in my blog, so that's pretty cool I think. I feel kind of silly having complained about not having followers when I wasn't even set up for them, but hey, I'm old, right? So I'm SUPPOSED to be technologically challenged. Anyway, no one ever mentioned that you have to add a button to your blog for people to follow you. But, I have it now, so go ahead, click it. I won't spam you or try to sell you anything. Scout's honor. And I actually was a Girl Scout.

Last time I asked you to share resources that might help me work toward my goals. Thank you, Corinne, for the book recommendation. I ordered it right away and have been reading at least a chapter every day. Turns out pretty much everything I thought was true about gaining and losing weight is wrong. The book is called The Obesity Code by Jason Fung, and honestly, it just makes sense and is helping me understand that obesity is a hormonal disease of consistently high levels of insulin and insulin resistance. I thought it was just that I was overeating and/or eating too much of the wrong foods, and if I just ate fewer calories, I should be able to lose weight. Turns out, it's not really that simple. Dr. Fung goes into the science and the studies as well as the statistics on current and past levels of obesity to show that reducing calories will not lead to permanent weight loss. At best, it's a temporary fix, which if I think about it, has definitely been true for me. I have lost and regained lots of weight, and each time I regain I end up heavier than when I started. It's very frustrating! I'm about halfway through the book, so I don't have all the pieces in place yet for what I need to do. He says diet definitely can raise or lower insulin levels, so it matters very much what, when, and how much we eat, but that most of what we've been told by government and the various medical associations over the past 30 years is wrong and by following their advice, we are getting more obese instead of less so. And the stats do seem to back him up.

So, I'm starting to eat more low carb meals since carbs, especially the refined ones from processed foods, raise insulin levels. I just started a couple days ago and am not doing it 100 percent so I haven't seen any weight loss yet. But I'm easing into the lower carb lifestyle so it's not such an abrupt change. Most of the dinners and lunches I have at home are now going to be low carb. I don't eat out super often, so I'm not too concerned about my occasional baked good or drink at Caribou or Starbucks, especially since I often get lattes, which don't have as much sugar as some of the more dessert type drinks. I'm still having my smoothies for breakfast, but now I'm sticking to homemade ones, so I control the ingredients. Still having my flavored creamer and sugar in my coffee. Bad, I know, but coffee without it, is just waaaaayyyy too bitter for this girl, and do NOT suggest I give it up because you do not want to be around me sans my morning caffeine infusion. Seriously, that could be dangerous for all parties.

I tried two new recipes for low carb dinners, and they were both really yummy and super easy, though my kids weren't impressed. That's Ok. Jim and I liked them. On Saturday I made Mexican chicken lettuce wraps (although the filling pretty much fell out, so we just ate it all as a salad), and last night I made the easiest stir fry ever with ground chicken and two bags of Asian chopped salad veggies. Tonight I'm making cauliflower fried "rice". I know cauliflower doesn't taste like rice, but I like cauliflower, so hopefully, I will like this dish.

Anyone else watching their carbs? I'd love to know about some of the yummy low carb things you have made. I'm always looking for new recipes and meal ideas. Here's to healthier eating!

Goal Revamp

First of all, thank you for reading my blog. I know who some of you are. (Hope that doesn't sound stalker style creepy.) I would love to have some followers. I promise I won't try to sell you anything or lure you into a cult or multi level marketing plan or fill your inboxes with spam. So, if you're enjoying the posts, go ahead and follow me.

I made it to bed before 11 last night AND left my phone alone until this morning. Woo hoo! Major victory! I'm honestly worse than a teenager about playing on my phone. It's just so tempting with the gazillion different things I can do and learn. And so easy to jump from one thing to another. Not that I'd ever do that or anything. ;-)

Since I struggle with time management, I thought it would be helpful to get back to working on goals as a way to use my time more wisely. I wrote down a few goals for this summer, but decided to do some tweaking since in general, they weren't really stirring up any passion in me. So here are my newly revised goals. Some of them will take longer, as in a year or two, maybe even more than that to complete, but I figure I can at least get farther down the road by the time the weather changes.

1. Become a professional counselor.
2. Take a ministry basics class.
3. Launch my kids out into adulthood as responsible, healthy, happy productive members of society.
4. Decorate my house. (There currently is no theme or scheme or consistency of any kind.)
5. Get my driver's license.
6. Get to a healthy weight. (Not going for an exact final number yet, but I know I need to lose at least 100 lbs, possibly as much as 135.)
7. Go to the beach at least once a week, at least until fall weather arrives. Here it is almost July, and I haven't been once!
8. Start and oversee a marriage ministry.

So today, I wrote down an action step I can take toward each of those. My plan is to do my morning routine, and then my 5 things on my to do list, and after that work on action steps toward my goals.

Here's what that looked like today:

In order to become a professional counselor, the first step is for me to get a Master's in a psychology or social work field. I've already started the application process for the online MA in Marriage and Family Therapy through Liberty University, a private Christian school in Virginia. But I still need my recommendation forms filled out, my personal statement form completed, and my financial aid application completed, so my first step is to get those done. Today, I started working on that.

My ministry basics class won't start til this fall, so there really isn't anything to do there.

As far as my kids go, I started reading First Aid for Parents of Teens and Up available for free from Focus on the Family. I'm planning to spend time with my family tomorrow afternoon doing a scavenger hunt at the mall.

Decorating the house will be a HUMUNGOUS undertaking, but I'm taking it one small step at a time. The baseboards in our bedroom are mostly missing because Jim started to pull them off since part of them were already broken. I'm going to ask him to finish pulling off the rest, so at least all the walls will look the same. We will need new ones, but first the old ones have to come off.

Ok so the reason I don't have my driver's license will sound so weird to you, but I'm sharing my moment of vulnerability to any person who wants to read... I have a phobia of driving. Yes, I know it's illogical, inconvenient, and highly unusual, but that's the deal. Anyone who knows anything about anxiety disorders and phobias knows they don't disappear just cuz someone tells you they're irrational. Logical thinking and emotional response are two different brain areas. So today I took a practice written test to get my permit but only got a 75%. You need an 80 to pass, so I need to brush up on some of the "How many feet away and what the fines are" type of questions. Yep, it was the numbers questions that tripped me up. No big surprise there. Math and I aren't exactly besties! Kind of ironic that my oldest ended up taking math classes beyond calculus and thought they were great fun!


The weight loss thing is a BIG issue. Sorry, just couldn't resist the pun. There's so much conflicting info out there about what does and doesn't work. I've already started the exercise piece. I'm still considering surgery but honestly am not at the point where I 100% feel ready to commit to it yet. People seem to think surgery is the easy way out, but I actually think it seems MUCH harder, with all the different requirements you have to follow after the procedure. I like that it's fast and that it works and that you don't get very hungry. But anyone who thinks it's the easy way out, doesn't really know the details. That's not to say, I'm opposed to it. But as of this time, I'm not pursuing it. That could change. For now, I'm going to start with making sure I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and limit junky, highly processed foods. My goal for the upcoming week is to stick to 1500 calories or less at least 5 days each week. Will that be enough? Is that the best plan? I don't know, but it's a start. I can always make adjustments. Not doing the vegan or the paleo thing at this time cuz I really like eating from all kinds of food groups. Again, one or the other or modified versions of them might be something I do in the future, but for now, I'll start by reducing my calories and see how that goes.


Although I very much want to relocate to be by the ocean, it doesn't look like that's on the agenda for anytime soon. At least not as of tonight. I'd be totally open to that changing on a dime, but despite being nearly 2000  or more miles away in any direction from the sea, we have a crazy number of lakes. Did I mention I live in Minnesota? When they say "Land of 10,000 Lakes" it's not an exaggeration. Actually, it's more like 13,000. So, there are plenty of beaches to visit, one within a couple miles of my house. So, unless something unforeseen comes up, I'm planning to go on Sunday afternoon. Unless it rains or tornados or something else beyond my control.

I emailed Family Life Ministries for direction regarding how to start a church marriage ministry.

So there you have it. I'd love to hear if you have any recommendations for resources on any of my goals. I'd also love to hear what your goals are. It would be great if we could cheer each other on! Have a blessed weekend! And remember to follow me and share your thoughts or questions in the comments section.

On the Road to Happy

Hello. So, life is starting to feel better for me. I've been walking most days and doing a modified morning routine. I've also started making dinner again instead of just winging it every evening or asking Jim to pick up something. I do much better with a plan, and I tend to make healthier choices.

I'm slowly working on getting at least the bare bones basic house chores into my routine, and while I still wouldn't have most people over, I can see progress. I started with 5 things I want to do on a daily basis a couple days ago. The next day, I could do those pretty quickly because I had just done them the day before, so I didn't have a big mess to clean up. Then I added 5 more things. So today, I did those 10 quick little things, most of which took a minute or less. I only have 4 other house tasks today because I'm getting my hair done (way overdue). I've done the first two tasks already. I put away the clean dishes from last night and I put away the stuff that doesn't belong on the kitchen counter. I'm also planning to wash today's dishes and dry and put them away. (I don't have a dishwasher.) But, I don't have any clean dishcloths, so they are in the washer right now.

I have NOT been doing very well with sleep, which I know is part of the problem with low energy and lack of motivation and not feeling particularly cheery and bright. I could sit here berating myself for not following my own advice about the importance of sleep. (I'm great at giving people advice but not as great at following it myself.) But negativity isn't much of a motivator for me, so instead I'm just starting fresh tonight with getting to bed by 11. For that to happen, I need to head upstairs by 10:50. To make that easier, I've decided not to start anything that I know will be hard to stop by then. So no more starting an episode of something at 10:30, tempting as it may be. The characters and their challenges will still be there the next day or week or whenever I decide to tune in again to Hulu or Netflix.

I think it's interesting that the lady who wrote The Happiness Project started off her quest with getting to bed early enough to have the appropriate amount of sleep. She said it made a noticeable difference. Hmmmm. You mean I don't need 5 billion dollars and my own tropical island with a cabana and a beach boy to bring me stuff? That's good to know. But still, I definitely wouldn't refuse those things. A girl can dream, right?

So here's to getting your zzzz's and moving toward your happy place,

To Do, Ta Da

Hi there! It's been a little while. Life happens. I got off routine and have just been dealing with some stuff. Nothing earth shattering. Just things like finances and hormones (Oh the joys of going through menopause) and feeling blah and under the weather and missing the zip in my zippity do da. Kind of like depression but not full on. Can anyone relate?

Anyway, it's still not all roses and ice cream, but yesterday I started getting back into the swing of things. Not 100 percent, full force back on track, but I figured I'd just start eating my overgrown elephant one bite at a time cuz doing something is always better than doing nothing. My life has many areas that are a far cry from how I want them to be, but just sitting around feeling overwhelmed or guilty or deliberating on the unfairness of life isn't going to make me feel any better. It is what it is at this moment, so I have to accept both myself and my current circumstances, and focus on what I CAN do with the resources I have right now. Besides, not everything is awful. There are a lot of good things in my life too.

So now I've started doing a modified morning routine again and making sure I get dressed and do my hair and make up even on days when I'm not planning to leave the house. It just makes me feel better.

Oh, and guess what I finally did yesterday! I mailed my intake forms back to the psychologist. I was going to do it a few days ago, but I couldn't find the envelope. (Am I the perfect ADD poster child or what?) The struggle is real, people. Don't judge me. So now, the diagnosis process is back in motion after several weeks of being stuck in a ditch.

Last time I talked about working toward life balance. As I was reading an article about this today, I was reminded of a simple concept, but one that I haven't been using. You probably already do this, but I haven't been using a to do list. I always have one, but it's in my head, along with 28.2 million other thoughts and feelings whirring around in there at the speed of light. So today I, drum roll please, actually wrote the list down. Ok so it was on the back of an envelope, but hey, I didn't want to try to excavate through the piles to find the notebook paper. And the cool thing is I kept it short. Only 5 easy items. And I finished it. So my to do became my ta da! It felt good. I don't know why, but for some reason writing things down makes them more likely to get done. And there's something immensely satisfying about crossing off the items.

I know this isn't exactly an earth shattering revelation, but sometimes I think we just need to go back to the basics, especially when we've been feeling overwhelmed.

Today's list was as follows:

1. Do laundry.
2. Pick up my bedroom.
3. Make my bed.
4. Pick up the stuff on the stairs.
5. Look over the Sunday school lesson I'm teaching this week.

What's on your list?  I'd love to know. Whatever it was, I'm shouting out a big cyber  "Ta da!" in your direction. And if the list didn't happen today, in the words of the infamous Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day."

Til next time, be blessed!

New Stuff

Hello. How's life?

I found a new resource for ADHD people. This makes me happy cuz I need all the help I can get. The website is livingwithadd.com. They have a bunch of FREE webinars and podcasts on various challenges for adults with ADD/ADHD as well as many people's "stories" on living with ADD. They also have an online bookstore. I'm just starting to plunge into their many resources. I feel like a kid in a candy store since two of my favorite things are reading and taking classes, and to me, webinars and podcasts feel like mini classes, and with so many free offerings, I don't have to think about finances, which makes me an even happier kid in that candy store since all things money involve numbers and math. I don't think it's coincidental that money management and math start with the same letter as migraine.

I just started watching a webinar last night. It's called Time Management Roadblocks. I'm thinking this might be a good one for all people, even those without ADHD. So here's one thing I've learned so far: I don't have to check my email every time I hear my notification signal. Of course, part of me wants to say, "DUUUUUUHHH!" but it's just one of those things I automatically do multiple times a day, and I suppose if I were to add up all the minutes I do that as well as all the times the email sets me hopping down a rabbit trail trying to learn more about whatever idea said email sparked in my busy brain, I might be shocked at how much time was frittered away. I guess Pavlov's puppies weren't the only creatures who came running at the ringing of a bell. But awareness is the first step to change, right? So now, I've decided to do as the speaker suggested and only check my email twice a day. I know it's just one small step, but right now I'm in small step mode. Besides, if you put together enough small steps, you can travel as far as you want.

So, today I'm issuing a step challenge. Relax! It's not about getting in 10 million extra paces or anything. You only have to count to one. Find your one small step and like Nike says, "Just do it!" Who knows? It might be the start of a great journey.

I'd love to know what small step you are taking! Be blessed!

Got Sleep?

Happy June!

So far my routine has been going pretty well. I still haven't mailed back my forms to the psychologist. I keep forgetting to get stamps. ADD anyone? My plan is to do it tomorrow though.

Anyway, something I think most of us, especially women, whether ADD or not, struggle with is the whole life balance thing. I know the term work/life balance is thrown around a lot these days. But that's not all I'm talking about. That would be part of it, but I'm thinking about the big picture, the whole enchilada of spiritual life, family, leisure, health, self care, paid work, friendships, relatives, learning, volunteering, creativity, finances, and all those other parts of life that are important, but sometimes hard to make mesh together with everything else. Indoor time, outdoor time, rest, play, errands, staying home, cleaning, going out, church and other activities, appointments, yada yada yada.

And it really is all good stuff, but how am I supposed to get it all in? How often? How much time should be given to each area? Where's the manual? And yes, I know the Bible is our source of establishing mission and priorities, but I've never found a version that tells me whether I should stay in and clean my bathroom or go enjoy a perfect beach day with my kids or catch up on my reading or clean out my inbox. Other people (I'll call them normal organized ladies or NOL for short) seem to just know this. So when so many areas are in various states of disarray from complete chaos to just needing a few tweaks here and there, where do you even start??? It's enough to make an ADD girl go into frozen mode (think deer in headlights).

Well, I did a little googling about trying to juggle the multiple areas of life, and I read that sleep should be high up there on the priorities. It makes sense really. I mean, if you're constantly tired, you aren't going to do as well in your work, your relationships, your ability to learn, etc. And if you don't have energy, even the fun things won't be enjoyable. So, I decided to start with sleep. It's not that I'm constantly tired, but I didn't really have much of a sleep schedule. It's always been hard for me to go to bed at night and to get up in the morning. Maybe because it usually takes me a while to fall asleep, so I kind of get bored. Most weekday mornings I get up between 7 and 7:30 when Jim brings me the steaming mug of magical wake up drink that normal people call coffee. So I figured, it would be good for me to go to bed at 11. I might change that later if I decide to get up earlier, but for now, this works.

So, did that change my life and make every piece of the jigsaw all fit into exact, proper proportion to one another? HA! Not even close. But, it's one small change. I'm building my foundation before I start adding in the details. Eating that elephant one bite at a time. So, how about you? Exhaustion is NOT your friend. Got sleep?

Update and a Daily Routine

 Hi all!

Last time, I told you that I had scheduled an appointment with my doctor to talk about the possibility of trying medication to help me deal with my ADD.  She gave me a referral to a psychologist for further evaluation. I had my initial intake a few days ago, and she agreed that I might have ADD, so she gave me some forms to bring home. I filled out the two questionnaires that were for me, and my husband needs to fill out the observer one. Then I have to send them back, and see what she recommends. So I'm in the process of determining whether or not I actually have ADD, and if so, how to deal with it. It's only taken me 53 years to actually do something here. Oh well, better late than never.

One of my challenges is how time just seems to slip by because I have this tendency to get so easily distracted. I decided that I need to have a basic daily routine. I've sort of been doing one, but this morning I decided to actually write one out in my journal. There's just something about putting it in writing that makes it more likely to get done. Getting it out of my head and onto paper helps keep me on track because if I get interrupted (either by life or my own random, swirling thought trails), I can look at my written routine and get back into my groove a little more easily. I don't have to stop and try to make my brain jump through as many hoops in order to refocus. And for me, the fewer the hoops, the better, cuz sometimes my thoughts wander if the hoop jumping takes too long.

So, here's my daily routine. I don't have set times because things don't always take the same amount of time every day, but generally speaking, these are the things I'm doing each weekday for now.

Coffee (I need this first. This is my brain activation and self control elixir in a cup.)
Bible study (Currently working through Life Principles by Charles Stanley. Highly recommend it BTW)
Prayer
Make my bed
Eat breakfast
Take meds
Wash, dry, put away dishes
Clean kitchen counter
Take meat out of freezer for dinner if needed
Put on workout clothes
Brush teeth
Start laundry
Walk for 30 minutes (I don't do this every day necessarily, but at least several times a week)
Shower, get dressed, basic hygiene, hair, makeup
Continue laundry
Pick up my room and bathroom floor if needed
Work on school with James (I homeschool my 12 year old son.)
Journal (Monday, Wednesday, Friday)
Work on tasks Jim has asked me to do (He doesn't always have requests, but this is when I do them if he does.)
Communications (phone calls, emails, etc if needed)
Work on goals (I have a running list of goals/to do usually 7 or less)

So there you have it. What do you think? Today was the first day I did these things in this order, and it felt good. Of course, I may have to tweak this as time goes on, but for now I think this will work.

Would love to hear from you! Til next time!

What's Up, Doc?

 Happy May Day! Looks like winter has actually come to an end here in the frozen tundra otherwise known as Minnesota! Hard to believe that we were in the midst of a raging blizzard just a couple of weeks ago! It was such a long winter this year! After living here for almost 25 years, I can now say whole heartedly that the novelty of cold, snowy, icy weather for 4 to 5 months each year has most definitely worn off. I would so LOVE to move to a warmer climate that also is by the ocean. It's just all those pesky details like income and housing, and selling our home here, that's in less than stellar condition (and that's putting it VERY kindly). Still, if all that could be worked out, I would do it in a New York minute.

Since I seem to have many symptoms of ADD, at least according to all the online assessments, which usually put me in the moderate portion of the scale, and since it does cause some challenges for me on a fairly regular basis, I've finally decided to see my doctor to talk about the possibility of trying medication. I don't know whether or not that would be a good option, but I'd at least like to get her opinion on the matter. I can hear the naysayers chanting, "Meds are bad! Skills not pills! It's a pharmaceutical conspiracy!" So, in my mind, I have to tell them to calm down and take a chill pill, but that's probably the wrong thing to say since pills are evil, right?

For the record, I believe in skills. I don't believe in using medication as a substitute for skills, but I honestly get so tired of hearing people (usually ones who aren't dealing with ADHD in themselves or with the kids) saying that parents who put their kids on meds are lazy and looking for an easy way out instead of taking the time to teach their children "skills." OK newsflash from a mom who's oldest kid has MAJOR ADHD, you can't even begin to teach the skills if your kid can't calm down enough to focus for more than a nanosecond. The meds were never about skipping skills training with my child. All the meds did was level my playing field to be somewhat closer to "average", so she had a better chance of success with learning and applying those skills. OK now I will step down from my soapbox. Sorry, it's just one of my pet peeves.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see what my doctor has to say. Who knows? Maybe meds will make a big difference. And for any naysayers, real or imaginary, who would say that I'm foolish to even consider the pills as an option, maybe they would like to come over to my house right now and scrape out all the charred clumps of burnt rice that's bonded to the inside of my newest pot. This happened because I started to cook and totally forgot about it until that telltale aroma of burnt food attacked my nostrils and triggered my memory. I'd like to say this was the first time or even the second time this has happened, but then I'd be lying. So, at this point, I'm thinking meds might be a viable option.  Either that, or I need to look into getting a fire extinguisher.

Til next time!

Welcome!

Hi, and welcome to my blog. First things first. I've never been officially diagnosed with ADD. ( I left out the H cuz I'm totally the opposite of hyper. Actually, I kind of wish I was hyper. Aren't hyper people thinner? But, I digress, which ADD people have a tendency to do😁.) But I do have at least one kid with ADHD, and from what I've learned about it throughout my almost 25 years of motherhood, I fit the picture of the non hyperactive kind. Now that I think about it, even though my body is underactive, my mind takes that unused motion and kicks into hyper mode, pretty much all the time. And this can make for some interesting life challenges. Especially being an adult, and a woman, and a mom. Cuz we are supposed to be neat, orderly, organized, on time, and generally know where things are ( like our bra or the deed to the house or the salt. ) I also have a terrible time following through with pretty much everything. By the way, this is like my sixth blog I've started. Hmmmm. A tad ADD perhaps.

But this isn't a blog about ADD in particular. It's about my life, the journey I'm on, my thoughts, feelings, ideas, dreams, goals, values, struggles, victories, and other stuff of life. And the unique ( and sometimes humorous ) challenges of ADD happen within the context of eveyday life.


Maybe you can relate to parts of what I share. Maybe other parts will seem weird or opposite to your perceptions. But in that case, I hope you can catch a glimpse of how someone with a different perspective feels or interprets or reacts to life. I also hope you can find a little humor as you read because hey, free entertainment is always a nice perk. And we could all use a little more smiling and laughter in our lives.

So, I might write about pretty much anything and everything. I'm an eclectic person with several interests. Notice I didn't claim to have multiple talents. Just cuz something interests me, doesn't mean I'm good at it. I love music, but trust me, you do NOT want to hear me sing. I like the idea of having a nicely decorated home, but if you visited right now, you might think we were going to be the cover story for Redneck Times or Dumpster Digest.

If you read, I hope you'll comment. I'd love to know that you stopped by. You don't have to say anything profound. I'd also love to hear your suggestions for topics for future posts or any questions you have. Til next time.

Annette