First of all, thank you for reading my blog. I know who some of you are. (Hope that doesn't sound stalker style creepy.) I would love to have some followers. I promise I won't try to sell you anything or lure you into a cult or multi level marketing plan or fill your inboxes with spam. So, if you're enjoying the posts, go ahead and follow me.
I made it to bed before 11 last night AND left my phone alone until this morning. Woo hoo! Major victory! I'm honestly worse than a teenager about playing on my phone. It's just so tempting with the gazillion different things I can do and learn. And so easy to jump from one thing to another. Not that I'd ever do that or anything. ;-)
Since I struggle with time management, I thought it would be helpful to get back to working on goals as a way to use my time more wisely. I wrote down a few goals for this summer, but decided to do some tweaking since in general, they weren't really stirring up any passion in me. So here are my newly revised goals. Some of them will take longer, as in a year or two, maybe even more than that to complete, but I figure I can at least get farther down the road by the time the weather changes.
1. Become a professional counselor.
2. Take a ministry basics class.
3. Launch my kids out into adulthood as responsible, healthy, happy productive members of society.
4. Decorate my house. (There currently is no theme or scheme or consistency of any kind.)
5. Get my driver's license.
6. Get to a healthy weight. (Not going for an exact final number yet, but I know I need to lose at least 100 lbs, possibly as much as 135.)
7. Go to the beach at least once a week, at least until fall weather arrives. Here it is almost July, and I haven't been once!
8. Start and oversee a marriage ministry.
So today, I wrote down an action step I can take toward each of those. My plan is to do my morning routine, and then my 5 things on my to do list, and after that work on action steps toward my goals.
Here's what that looked like today:
In order to become a professional counselor, the first step is for me to get a Master's in a psychology or social work field. I've already started the application process for the online MA in Marriage and Family Therapy through Liberty University, a private Christian school in Virginia. But I still need my recommendation forms filled out, my personal statement form completed, and my financial aid application completed, so my first step is to get those done. Today, I started working on that.
My ministry basics class won't start til this fall, so there really isn't anything to do there.
As far as my kids go, I started reading First Aid for Parents of Teens and Up available for free from Focus on the Family. I'm planning to spend time with my family tomorrow afternoon doing a scavenger hunt at the mall.
Decorating the house will be a HUMUNGOUS undertaking, but I'm taking it one small step at a time. The baseboards in our bedroom are mostly missing because Jim started to pull them off since part of them were already broken. I'm going to ask him to finish pulling off the rest, so at least all the walls will look the same. We will need new ones, but first the old ones have to come off.
Ok so the reason I don't have my driver's license will sound so weird to you, but I'm sharing my moment of vulnerability to any person who wants to read... I have a phobia of driving. Yes, I know it's illogical, inconvenient, and highly unusual, but that's the deal. Anyone who knows anything about anxiety disorders and phobias knows they don't disappear just cuz someone tells you they're irrational. Logical thinking and emotional response are two different brain areas. So today I took a practice written test to get my permit but only got a 75%. You need an 80 to pass, so I need to brush up on some of the "How many feet away and what the fines are" type of questions. Yep, it was the numbers questions that tripped me up. No big surprise there. Math and I aren't exactly besties! Kind of ironic that my oldest ended up taking math classes beyond calculus and thought they were great fun!
The weight loss thing is a BIG issue. Sorry, just couldn't resist the pun. There's so much conflicting info out there about what does and doesn't work. I've already started the exercise piece. I'm still considering surgery but honestly am not at the point where I 100% feel ready to commit to it yet. People seem to think surgery is the easy way out, but I actually think it seems MUCH harder, with all the different requirements you have to follow after the procedure. I like that it's fast and that it works and that you don't get very hungry. But anyone who thinks it's the easy way out, doesn't really know the details. That's not to say, I'm opposed to it. But as of this time, I'm not pursuing it. That could change. For now, I'm going to start with making sure I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and limit junky, highly processed foods. My goal for the upcoming week is to stick to 1500 calories or less at least 5 days each week. Will that be enough? Is that the best plan? I don't know, but it's a start. I can always make adjustments. Not doing the vegan or the paleo thing at this time cuz I really like eating from all kinds of food groups. Again, one or the other or modified versions of them might be something I do in the future, but for now, I'll start by reducing my calories and see how that goes.
Although I very much want to relocate to be by the ocean, it doesn't look like that's on the agenda for anytime soon. At least not as of tonight. I'd be totally open to that changing on a dime, but despite being nearly 2000 or more miles away in any direction from the sea, we have a crazy number of lakes. Did I mention I live in Minnesota? When they say "Land of 10,000 Lakes" it's not an exaggeration. Actually, it's more like 13,000. So, there are plenty of beaches to visit, one within a couple miles of my house. So, unless something unforeseen comes up, I'm planning to go on Sunday afternoon. Unless it rains or tornados or something else beyond my control.
I emailed Family Life Ministries for direction regarding how to start a church marriage ministry.
So there you have it. I'd love to hear if you have any recommendations for resources on any of my goals. I'd also love to hear what your goals are. It would be great if we could cheer each other on! Have a blessed weekend! And remember to follow me and share your thoughts or questions in the comments section.
Friday, June 29, 2018
Thursday, June 28, 2018
On the Road to Happy
Hello. So, life is starting to feel better for me. I've been walking most days and doing a modified morning routine. I've also started making dinner again instead of just winging it every evening or asking Jim to pick up something. I do much better with a plan, and I tend to make healthier choices.
I'm slowly working on getting at least the bare bones basic house chores into my routine, and while I still wouldn't have most people over, I can see progress. I started with 5 things I want to do on a daily basis a couple days ago. The next day, I could do those pretty quickly because I had just done them the day before, so I didn't have a big mess to clean up. Then I added 5 more things. So today, I did those 10 quick little things, most of which took a minute or less. I only have 4 other house tasks today because I'm getting my hair done (way overdue). I've done the first two tasks already. I put away the clean dishes from last night and I put away the stuff that doesn't belong on the kitchen counter. I'm also planning to wash today's dishes and dry and put them away. (I don't have a dishwasher.) But, I don't have any clean dishcloths, so they are in the washer right now.
I have NOT been doing very well with sleep, which I know is part of the problem with low energy and lack of motivation and not feeling particularly cheery and bright. I could sit here berating myself for not following my own advice about the importance of sleep. (I'm great at giving people advice but not as great at following it myself.) But negativity isn't much of a motivator for me, so instead I'm just starting fresh tonight with getting to bed by 11. For that to happen, I need to head upstairs by 10:50. To make that easier, I've decided not to start anything that I know will be hard to stop by then. So no more starting an episode of something at 10:30, tempting as it may be. The characters and their challenges will still be there the next day or week or whenever I decide to tune in again to Hulu or Netflix.
I think it's interesting that the lady who wrote The Happiness Project started off her quest with getting to bed early enough to have the appropriate amount of sleep. She said it made a noticeable difference. Hmmmm. You mean I don't need 5 billion dollars and my own tropical island with a cabana and a beach boy to bring me stuff? That's good to know. But still, I definitely wouldn't refuse those things. A girl can dream, right?
So here's to getting your zzzz's and moving toward your happy place,
I'm slowly working on getting at least the bare bones basic house chores into my routine, and while I still wouldn't have most people over, I can see progress. I started with 5 things I want to do on a daily basis a couple days ago. The next day, I could do those pretty quickly because I had just done them the day before, so I didn't have a big mess to clean up. Then I added 5 more things. So today, I did those 10 quick little things, most of which took a minute or less. I only have 4 other house tasks today because I'm getting my hair done (way overdue). I've done the first two tasks already. I put away the clean dishes from last night and I put away the stuff that doesn't belong on the kitchen counter. I'm also planning to wash today's dishes and dry and put them away. (I don't have a dishwasher.) But, I don't have any clean dishcloths, so they are in the washer right now.
I have NOT been doing very well with sleep, which I know is part of the problem with low energy and lack of motivation and not feeling particularly cheery and bright. I could sit here berating myself for not following my own advice about the importance of sleep. (I'm great at giving people advice but not as great at following it myself.) But negativity isn't much of a motivator for me, so instead I'm just starting fresh tonight with getting to bed by 11. For that to happen, I need to head upstairs by 10:50. To make that easier, I've decided not to start anything that I know will be hard to stop by then. So no more starting an episode of something at 10:30, tempting as it may be. The characters and their challenges will still be there the next day or week or whenever I decide to tune in again to Hulu or Netflix.
I think it's interesting that the lady who wrote The Happiness Project started off her quest with getting to bed early enough to have the appropriate amount of sleep. She said it made a noticeable difference. Hmmmm. You mean I don't need 5 billion dollars and my own tropical island with a cabana and a beach boy to bring me stuff? That's good to know. But still, I definitely wouldn't refuse those things. A girl can dream, right?
So here's to getting your zzzz's and moving toward your happy place,
Tuesday, June 26, 2018
To Do, Ta Da
Hi there! It's been a little while. Life happens. I got off routine and have just been dealing with some stuff. Nothing earth shattering. Just things like finances and hormones (Oh the joys of going through menopause) and feeling blah and under the weather and missing the zip in my zippity do da. Kind of like depression but not full on. Can anyone relate?
Anyway, it's still not all roses and ice cream, but yesterday I started getting back into the swing of things. Not 100 percent, full force back on track, but I figured I'd just start eating my overgrown elephant one bite at a time cuz doing something is always better than doing nothing. My life has many areas that are a far cry from how I want them to be, but just sitting around feeling overwhelmed or guilty or deliberating on the unfairness of life isn't going to make me feel any better. It is what it is at this moment, so I have to accept both myself and my current circumstances, and focus on what I CAN do with the resources I have right now. Besides, not everything is awful. There are a lot of good things in my life too.
So now I've started doing a modified morning routine again and making sure I get dressed and do my hair and make up even on days when I'm not planning to leave the house. It just makes me feel better.
Oh, and guess what I finally did yesterday! I mailed my intake forms back to the psychologist. I was going to do it a few days ago, but I couldn't find the envelope. (Am I the perfect ADD poster child or what?) The struggle is real, people. Don't judge me. So now, the diagnosis process is back in motion after several weeks of being stuck in a ditch.
Last time I talked about working toward life balance. As I was reading an article about this today, I was reminded of a simple concept, but one that I haven't been using. You probably already do this, but I haven't been using a to do list. I always have one, but it's in my head, along with 28.2 million other thoughts and feelings whirring around in there at the speed of light. So today I, drum roll please, actually wrote the list down. Ok so it was on the back of an envelope, but hey, I didn't want to try to excavate through the piles to find the notebook paper. And the cool thing is I kept it short. Only 5 easy items. And I finished it. So my to do became my ta da! It felt good. I don't know why, but for some reason writing things down makes them more likely to get done. And there's something immensely satisfying about crossing off the items.
I know this isn't exactly an earth shattering revelation, but sometimes I think we just need to go back to the basics, especially when we've been feeling overwhelmed.
Today's list was as follows:
1. Do laundry.
2. Pick up my bedroom.
3. Make my bed.
4. Pick up the stuff on the stairs.
5. Look over the Sunday school lesson I'm teaching this week.
What's on your list? I'd love to know. Whatever it was, I'm shouting out a big cyber "Ta da!" in your direction. And if the list didn't happen today, in the words of the infamous Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day."
Til next time, be blessed!
Anyway, it's still not all roses and ice cream, but yesterday I started getting back into the swing of things. Not 100 percent, full force back on track, but I figured I'd just start eating my overgrown elephant one bite at a time cuz doing something is always better than doing nothing. My life has many areas that are a far cry from how I want them to be, but just sitting around feeling overwhelmed or guilty or deliberating on the unfairness of life isn't going to make me feel any better. It is what it is at this moment, so I have to accept both myself and my current circumstances, and focus on what I CAN do with the resources I have right now. Besides, not everything is awful. There are a lot of good things in my life too.
So now I've started doing a modified morning routine again and making sure I get dressed and do my hair and make up even on days when I'm not planning to leave the house. It just makes me feel better.
Oh, and guess what I finally did yesterday! I mailed my intake forms back to the psychologist. I was going to do it a few days ago, but I couldn't find the envelope. (Am I the perfect ADD poster child or what?) The struggle is real, people. Don't judge me. So now, the diagnosis process is back in motion after several weeks of being stuck in a ditch.
Last time I talked about working toward life balance. As I was reading an article about this today, I was reminded of a simple concept, but one that I haven't been using. You probably already do this, but I haven't been using a to do list. I always have one, but it's in my head, along with 28.2 million other thoughts and feelings whirring around in there at the speed of light. So today I, drum roll please, actually wrote the list down. Ok so it was on the back of an envelope, but hey, I didn't want to try to excavate through the piles to find the notebook paper. And the cool thing is I kept it short. Only 5 easy items. And I finished it. So my to do became my ta da! It felt good. I don't know why, but for some reason writing things down makes them more likely to get done. And there's something immensely satisfying about crossing off the items.
I know this isn't exactly an earth shattering revelation, but sometimes I think we just need to go back to the basics, especially when we've been feeling overwhelmed.
Today's list was as follows:
1. Do laundry.
2. Pick up my bedroom.
3. Make my bed.
4. Pick up the stuff on the stairs.
5. Look over the Sunday school lesson I'm teaching this week.
What's on your list? I'd love to know. Whatever it was, I'm shouting out a big cyber "Ta da!" in your direction. And if the list didn't happen today, in the words of the infamous Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day."
Til next time, be blessed!
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
New Stuff
Hello. How's life?
I found a new resource for ADHD people. This makes me happy cuz I need all the help I can get. The website is livingwithadd.com. They have a bunch of FREE webinars and podcasts on various challenges for adults with ADD/ADHD as well as many people's "stories" on living with ADD. They also have an online bookstore. I'm just starting to plunge into their many resources. I feel like a kid in a candy store since two of my favorite things are reading and taking classes, and to me, webinars and podcasts feel like mini classes, and with so many free offerings, I don't have to think about finances, which makes me an even happier kid in that candy store since all things money involve numbers and math. I don't think it's coincidental that money management and math start with the same letter as migraine.
I just started watching a webinar last night. It's called Time Management Roadblocks. I'm thinking this might be a good one for all people, even those without ADHD. So here's one thing I've learned so far: I don't have to check my email every time I hear my notification signal. Of course, part of me wants to say, "DUUUUUUHHH!" but it's just one of those things I automatically do multiple times a day, and I suppose if I were to add up all the minutes I do that as well as all the times the email sets me hopping down a rabbit trail trying to learn more about whatever idea said email sparked in my busy brain, I might be shocked at how much time was frittered away. I guess Pavlov's puppies weren't the only creatures who came running at the ringing of a bell. But awareness is the first step to change, right? So now, I've decided to do as the speaker suggested and only check my email twice a day. I know it's just one small step, but right now I'm in small step mode. Besides, if you put together enough small steps, you can travel as far as you want.
So, today I'm issuing a step challenge. Relax! It's not about getting in 10 million extra paces or anything. You only have to count to one. Find your one small step and like Nike says, "Just do it!" Who knows? It might be the start of a great journey.
I'd love to know what small step you are taking! Be blessed!
I found a new resource for ADHD people. This makes me happy cuz I need all the help I can get. The website is livingwithadd.com. They have a bunch of FREE webinars and podcasts on various challenges for adults with ADD/ADHD as well as many people's "stories" on living with ADD. They also have an online bookstore. I'm just starting to plunge into their many resources. I feel like a kid in a candy store since two of my favorite things are reading and taking classes, and to me, webinars and podcasts feel like mini classes, and with so many free offerings, I don't have to think about finances, which makes me an even happier kid in that candy store since all things money involve numbers and math. I don't think it's coincidental that money management and math start with the same letter as migraine.
I just started watching a webinar last night. It's called Time Management Roadblocks. I'm thinking this might be a good one for all people, even those without ADHD. So here's one thing I've learned so far: I don't have to check my email every time I hear my notification signal. Of course, part of me wants to say, "DUUUUUUHHH!" but it's just one of those things I automatically do multiple times a day, and I suppose if I were to add up all the minutes I do that as well as all the times the email sets me hopping down a rabbit trail trying to learn more about whatever idea said email sparked in my busy brain, I might be shocked at how much time was frittered away. I guess Pavlov's puppies weren't the only creatures who came running at the ringing of a bell. But awareness is the first step to change, right? So now, I've decided to do as the speaker suggested and only check my email twice a day. I know it's just one small step, but right now I'm in small step mode. Besides, if you put together enough small steps, you can travel as far as you want.
So, today I'm issuing a step challenge. Relax! It's not about getting in 10 million extra paces or anything. You only have to count to one. Find your one small step and like Nike says, "Just do it!" Who knows? It might be the start of a great journey.
I'd love to know what small step you are taking! Be blessed!
Friday, June 1, 2018
Got Sleep?
Happy June!
So far my routine has been going pretty well. I still haven't mailed back my forms to the psychologist. I keep forgetting to get stamps. ADD anyone? My plan is to do it tomorrow though.
Anyway, something I think most of us, especially women, whether ADD or not, struggle with is the whole life balance thing. I know the term work/life balance is thrown around a lot these days. But that's not all I'm talking about. That would be part of it, but I'm thinking about the big picture, the whole enchilada of spiritual life, family, leisure, health, self care, paid work, friendships, relatives, learning, volunteering, creativity, finances, and all those other parts of life that are important, but sometimes hard to make mesh together with everything else. Indoor time, outdoor time, rest, play, errands, staying home, cleaning, going out, church and other activities, appointments, yada yada yada.
And it really is all good stuff, but how am I supposed to get it all in? How often? How much time should be given to each area? Where's the manual? And yes, I know the Bible is our source of establishing mission and priorities, but I've never found a version that tells me whether I should stay in and clean my bathroom or go enjoy a perfect beach day with my kids or catch up on my reading or clean out my inbox. Other people (I'll call them normal organized ladies or NOL for short) seem to just know this. So when so many areas are in various states of disarray from complete chaos to just needing a few tweaks here and there, where do you even start??? It's enough to make an ADD girl go into frozen mode (think deer in headlights).
Well, I did a little googling about trying to juggle the multiple areas of life, and I read that sleep should be high up there on the priorities. It makes sense really. I mean, if you're constantly tired, you aren't going to do as well in your work, your relationships, your ability to learn, etc. And if you don't have energy, even the fun things won't be enjoyable. So, I decided to start with sleep. It's not that I'm constantly tired, but I didn't really have much of a sleep schedule. It's always been hard for me to go to bed at night and to get up in the morning. Maybe because it usually takes me a while to fall asleep, so I kind of get bored. Most weekday mornings I get up between 7 and 7:30 when Jim brings me the steaming mug of magical wake up drink that normal people call coffee. So I figured, it would be good for me to go to bed at 11. I might change that later if I decide to get up earlier, but for now, this works.
So, did that change my life and make every piece of the jigsaw all fit into exact, proper proportion to one another? HA! Not even close. But, it's one small change. I'm building my foundation before I start adding in the details. Eating that elephant one bite at a time. So, how about you? Exhaustion is NOT your friend. Got sleep?
So far my routine has been going pretty well. I still haven't mailed back my forms to the psychologist. I keep forgetting to get stamps. ADD anyone? My plan is to do it tomorrow though.
Anyway, something I think most of us, especially women, whether ADD or not, struggle with is the whole life balance thing. I know the term work/life balance is thrown around a lot these days. But that's not all I'm talking about. That would be part of it, but I'm thinking about the big picture, the whole enchilada of spiritual life, family, leisure, health, self care, paid work, friendships, relatives, learning, volunteering, creativity, finances, and all those other parts of life that are important, but sometimes hard to make mesh together with everything else. Indoor time, outdoor time, rest, play, errands, staying home, cleaning, going out, church and other activities, appointments, yada yada yada.
And it really is all good stuff, but how am I supposed to get it all in? How often? How much time should be given to each area? Where's the manual? And yes, I know the Bible is our source of establishing mission and priorities, but I've never found a version that tells me whether I should stay in and clean my bathroom or go enjoy a perfect beach day with my kids or catch up on my reading or clean out my inbox. Other people (I'll call them normal organized ladies or NOL for short) seem to just know this. So when so many areas are in various states of disarray from complete chaos to just needing a few tweaks here and there, where do you even start??? It's enough to make an ADD girl go into frozen mode (think deer in headlights).
Well, I did a little googling about trying to juggle the multiple areas of life, and I read that sleep should be high up there on the priorities. It makes sense really. I mean, if you're constantly tired, you aren't going to do as well in your work, your relationships, your ability to learn, etc. And if you don't have energy, even the fun things won't be enjoyable. So, I decided to start with sleep. It's not that I'm constantly tired, but I didn't really have much of a sleep schedule. It's always been hard for me to go to bed at night and to get up in the morning. Maybe because it usually takes me a while to fall asleep, so I kind of get bored. Most weekday mornings I get up between 7 and 7:30 when Jim brings me the steaming mug of magical wake up drink that normal people call coffee. So I figured, it would be good for me to go to bed at 11. I might change that later if I decide to get up earlier, but for now, this works.
So, did that change my life and make every piece of the jigsaw all fit into exact, proper proportion to one another? HA! Not even close. But, it's one small change. I'm building my foundation before I start adding in the details. Eating that elephant one bite at a time. So, how about you? Exhaustion is NOT your friend. Got sleep?
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